Answers to the questions.

You know those days where it seems that nothing can go right? The days when it feels like the enemy has your soul in his hands and is squeezing the life out of you? That was me yesterday. I woke with a pounding head and the trials came pouring in as I entered the day. It was obvious, after a few hours in, that I should have started the day with prayer and quiet time with the Lord, instead of coffee. But, I didn't. And even at the point of realization, I still didn't make the time to seek out the Lord, and I paid for it.

Near the end of the day Nate sent me out to get some air. I refused at first, thinking it wouldn't make much difference, but then decided to go anyway.

With the windows down and music surrounding me, I hit the road. It was peaceful at first, until I remembered that my head was throbbing. And then the frustration filtered back in. So I flipped the music off and just drove silently for awhile and then started to pray. I cried out for the Lord to show me His perfect will for our lives, to direct us in the way He wanted, to guide us without hesitation. I ended up at the river, sitting alone with no distraction, with my bible on my lap. I opened to 1 Peter 4 because I knew that Peter was a great place to go for encouragement in times of trouble. As I was reading through the passage a breeze came through and started fluttering my pages around. I immediately grew impatient and tried to hold my onto my place in Peter. I started to lose my concentration and in frustration I closed the Word and set it aside. I was annoyed but as I sat on the rock watching the river freely flow downstream my mind found solace. When I was back in a place of peace I looked, again, at my bible. As I was looking at it I remembered a friend telling me about a time she allowed God to turn the pages for her. So I prayed the He would show me what I needed to be shown, without any effort on my part. Upon my asking, a gust of wind opened my bible to Revelation 2 and my eyes fell upon verses 1-7. It spoke of the loveless church.

“To the angel of the church of Ephesus write,
‘These things says He who holds the seven stars in His right hand, who walks in the midst of the seven golden lampstands: 2 “I know your works, your labor, your patience, and that you cannot bear those who are evil. And you have tested those who say they are apostles and are not, and have found them liars; 3 and you have persevered and have patience, and have labored for My name’s sake and have not become weary. 4 Nevertheless I have this against you, that you have left your first love. 5 Remember therefore from where you have fallen; repent and do the first works, or else I will come to you quickly and remove your lampstand from its place—unless you repent. 6 But this you have, that you hate the deeds of the Nicolaitans, which I also hate.
7 “He who has an ear, let him hear what the Spirit says to the churches. To him who overcomes I will give to eat from the tree of life, which is in the midst of the Paradise of God.”’

My heart started to pound. I knew the Lord was showing me where the problem was. Within the body, His body, there is a lack of love. I found this both interesting and heartbreaking because I knew in every ounce of my being that this was truth. His love has been missing from the body. I'm not saying that it is in any specific church body, or ministry, but as a whole we have left our first love. This explained so much. It explained to me why there are so many brothers and sisters in opposition with each other. It explained why there is a lack of unity in the believing body of Christ. It explained why people are turing their backs on Jesus after coming in contact with His body. It told me that we are doing it wrong and we need to repent and come back to HIM.

No sooner did my heart take this in the pages fluttered and turned to 1 John 2:15-17
and in that He told me HOW to change the past.

15 Do not love the world or the things in the world. If anyone loves the world, the love of the Father is not in him. 16 For all that is in the world—the lust of the flesh, the lust of the eyes, and the pride of life—is not of the Father but is of the world. 17 And the world is passing away, and the lust of it; but he who does the will of God abides forever.

Do NOT love the world or the things of the world, that is where the key lies.

And so again, pages flipped around and I waited, all the while not touching the bible but allowing His spirit to show me where to go. Back and forth they turned and then stopped, again, in 1 John. My eyes fell upon chapter 3 verses 7-11... And I took in the knowledge of how to live righteously for God, through love, love for each other and for Him who created us.

7 Little children, let no one deceive you. He who practices righteousness is righteous, just as He is righteous. 8 He who sins is of the devil, for the devil has sinned from the beginning. For this purpose the Son of God was manifested, that He might destroy the works of the devil. 9 Whoever has been born of God does not sin, for His seed remains in him; and he cannot sin, because he has been born of God. 10 In this the children of God and the children of the devil are manifest: Whoever does not practice righteousness is not of God, nor is he who does not love his brother. 11 For this is the message that you heard from the beginning, that we should love one another.

So then, now having the wisdom and knowledge of what needed to be changed in order to have a working and complete body in Christ I asked Him where to go next. I was still unsure that I had any power in my little ole self to do anything, to change anything. So He took me to a simple, yet dynamic verse, James 5:17...

17 Elijah was a man with a nature like ours, and he prayed earnestly that it would not rain; and it did not rain on the land for three years and six months.

PRAYER!
That was it, on-my-knees-eyes-on-the-cross-heart-praising-crying-out-in-humility sort of prayer. Elijah was a man with a nature like mine, like yours, and his faith filled prayers brought answers. Ours can too. And then he showed me 1 corinthians 10:1-15

1 Moreover, brethren, I do not want you to be unaware that all our fathers were under the cloud, all passed through the sea, 2 all were baptized into Moses in the cloud and in the sea, 3 all ate the same spiritual food, 4 and all drank the same spiritual drink. For they drank of that spiritual Rock that followed them, and that Rock was Christ. 5 But with most of them God was not well pleased, for their bodies were scattered in the wilderness. 6 Now these things became our examples, to the intent that we should not lust after evil things as they also lusted. 7 And do not become idolaters as were some of them. As it is written, “The people sat down to eat and drink, and rose up to play.” 8 Nor let us commit sexual immorality, as some of them did, and in one day twenty-three thousand fell; 9 nor let us tempt Christ, as some of them also tempted, and were destroyed by serpents; 10 nor complain, as some of them also complained, and were destroyed by the destroyer. 11 Now all these things happened to them as examples, and they were written for our admonition, upon whom the ends of the ages have come. 12 Therefore let him who thinks he stands take heed lest he fall. 13 No temptation has overtaken you except such as is common to man; but God is faithful, who will not allow you to be tempted beyond what you are able, but with the temptation will also make the way of escape, that you may be able to bear it. 14 Therefore, my beloved, flee from idolatry. 15 I speak as to wise men; judge for yourselves what I say.

In that I got much understanding. And, again, my heart broke for the things to come. He showed me that prayer would bring us through to the end, yet we will still see many fall into the pit of example. I asked for wisdom to see His heart for His people. And He filled my aching spirit with His comforting salve in 2 Corinthians 1:3-7

3 Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of mercies and God of all comfort, 4 who comforts us in all our tribulation, that we may be able to comfort those who are in any trouble, with the comfort with which we ourselves are comforted by God. 5 For as the sufferings of Christ abound in us, so our consolation also abounds through Christ. 6 Now if we are afflicted, it is for your consolation and salvation, which is effective for enduring the same sufferings which we also suffer. Or if we are comforted, it is for your consolation and salvation. 7 And our hope for you is steadfast, because we know that as you are partakers of the sufferings, so also you will partake of the consolation.

Wow, such reassurance He gives.
In times of trial, in trouble HE is there- always. And the way He circles our trials to become strengths so we can be of comfort to others, what a magnificent God we serve. That is perfection.

I could have been happy to stop there, but He wasn't finished with me yet. He turned my pages back a few to 1 corinthians 11:23-26

23 For I received from the Lord that which I also delivered to you: that the Lord Jesus on the same night in which He was betrayed took bread; 24 and when He had given thanks, He broke it and said, “Take, eat; this is My body which is broken for you; do this in remembrance of Me.” 25 In the same manner He also took the cup after supper, saying, “This cup is the new covenant in My blood. This do, as often as you drink it, in remembrance of Me.”
26 For as often as you eat this bread and drink this cup, you proclaim the Lord’s death till He comes.

As a reminder, always, to show us His almighty, never-ending, never failing love.
"This is My body which is broken for you" For you, and for me, He died. He was cursed, falsely accused and blamed, beaten and scorned, made to carry His cross to the hill where He would die. Death, for us. I have no words for that, except thank You.

So now what do I do? Where do I go from here Lord? These were questions I knew I would walk away from the river with. So, He, being the God who ties it all together for us when we ask, gave me yet another verse. Also in 1 Corinthians chapter 9:19-23

19 For though I am free from all men, I have made myself a servant to all, that I might win the more; 20 and to the Jews I became as a Jew, that I might win Jews; to those who are under the law, as under the law, that I might win those who are under the law; 21 to those who are without law, as without law (not being without law toward God, but under law toward Christ ), that I might win those who are without law; 22 to the weak I became as weak, that I might win the weak. I have become all things to all men, that I might by all means save some. 23 Now this I do for the gospel’s sake, that I may be partaker of it with you.

I am free, He has made me free in His spirit and in that it is my choice to be a servant. He is showing me that in order to show others the heart of Christ I need to become as they are, to the weak, weak, to the poor, poor. But in a way that shows sincerity, not falseness. If I am to become a missionary to others I need to learn how they live, I need to understand their differences, I need to get to know their hearts. I need to show my own weakness and humilty to them, as a servant would.

The last verse He poured into me was 1 Corinthians 7:17-24.. This summed up every other passage He had given me and sent me off with a fresh filling of His Spirit.

17 But as God has distributed to each one, as the Lord has called each one, so let him walk. And so I ordain in all the churches. 18 Was anyone called while circumcised? Let him not become uncircumcised. Was anyone called while uncircumcised? Let him not be circumcised. 19 Circumcision is nothing and uncircumcision is nothing, but keeping the commandments of God is what matters. 20 Let each one remain in the same calling in which he was called. 21 Were you called while a slave? Do not be concerned about it; but if you can be made free, rather use it. 22 For he who is called in the Lord while a slave is the Lord’s freedman. Likewise he who is called while free is Christ’s slave. 23 You were bought at a price; do not become slaves of men. 24 Brethren, let each one remain with God in that state in which he was called.

Live as you are called. I wish I could emphasize my language in a better way through writing because that is so filled with dominion that I can't even find enough words to describe it. I have been asked numerous times, "Why are you moving to Mexico?" "How do you know if this is God's will or man's will?" And, try as I might, I can only seem to come up with simple, meaningless answers. But when He gave me this verse I knew, in the deepest crevices of my being, that I am doing these things because I have been called to. No more than that, and no less. It is my calling, it is the calling of my family, therefore this is our next step.

God bless you for taking the time to read what has been put on my heart to share, and I hope and pray that the Lord has reached out and touched your spirit through what I have written.