Wednesday, February 16, 2011

my tumblr blog.

mystery exposed.

What is wisdom? How can I attain it?

Proverbs 9:10 “ The fear of the LORD is the beginning of wisdom, And the knowledge of the Holy One is understanding.

To even begin to taste the sweetness of the Lord's wisdom we must learn to fear Him. But do we really understand the meaning of the word fear?

It took some seeking but I found it in Proverbs 2.

My son, if you receive my words,
And treasure my commands within you,
So that you incline your ear to wisdom,
And apply your heart to understanding;
Yes, if you cry out for discernment,
And lift up your voice for understanding,
If you seek her as silver,
And search for her as for hidden treasures;
Then you will understand the fear of the LORD,
And find the knowledge of God.

It starts with DESIRE, with PASSION in our hearts to seek out His hidden treasures. SEEK, INCLINE, APPLY, CRY OUT, LIFT YOUR VOICE, SEEK, SEARCH, SEEK!

THEN you will understand.

But it gets deeper than that.

Proverbs 8:13 The fear of the LORD is to hate evil;
Pride and arrogance and the evil way
And the perverse mouth I hate.

So then what defines evil? What is it that I need to hate in order to fear the Lord in order to grow in wisdom?

Proverbs 6 tells of evil things the Lord hates, that we are to follow in His hatred towards-

These six things the LORD hates,
Yes, seven are an abomination to Him:
A proud look,
A lying tongue,
Hands that shed innocent blood,
A heart that devises wicked plans,
Feet that are swift in running to evil,
A false witness who speaks lies,
And one who sows discord among brethren.

Dang, is that convicting or what...

A proud look.... How many times have we fallen in that?

A lying tongue, hmmm...

maybe we've never physically shed innocent blood but Matthew 5 says-

“You have heard that it was said to those of old, ‘You shall not murder, and whoever murders will be in danger of the judgment.’ But I say to you that whoever is angry with his brother without a cause shall be in danger of the judgment.

Bam, been there.

Devising wicked plans, swift running towards evil, false witness, lies, sowing discord...

I can hear the gavel strike the sound block over and over and over and over in judgement. I am a terrible sinner, I have done the very things the Lord HATES. But He sent His son for this very reason, to cover us in His blood, His merciful blood of forgiveness. Wow.

But grace and mercy isn't an excuse to follow after evil, the rain of his forgiveness isn't reason to go roll around in filth, in the book of John, Jesus said-

“If you love Me, keep My commandments."

Brothers, sisters, we are to WALK as Christ did. We are to HATE, to ABHOR these things as HE does and we are to LOVE one another as He has loved us.

That is wisdom.

Wednesday, November 3, 2010

when the rooster crows.

I can't begin to imagine a life where morning prayer is done in secret.
Where worship is silent; heartfelt, Spirit filled, but without sound.
A place where a whisper of my faith could (and likely would) be punishable by death.


Matthew 24:9
“Then they will deliver you up to tribulation and kill you, and you will be hated by all nations for My name’s sake.

I can't begin to know that kind of persecution.

I kind of want to.

I want to know...
Would I do as Peter?
Would I deny you three times?

Will my fear stand firm before me as I hide my face from the enemy and beg for my life? Or will my knees crush the soil beneath me as I fall to the ground in full armored faith. Knowing that, even in death, nothing can separate me from Your love.


No, not one thing can separate us from the love of Christ.

Romans 8:35-39
Who shall separate us from the love of Christ? Shall tribulation, or distress, or persecution, or famine, or nakedness, or peril, or sword? As it is written: “ For Your sake we are killed all day long; We are accounted as sheep for the slaughter.” Yet in all these things we are more than conquerors through Him who loved us. For I am persuaded that neither death nor life, nor angels nor principalities nor powers, nor things present nor things to come, nor height nor depth, nor any other created thing, shall be able to separate us from the love of God which is in Christ Jesus our Lord.

I have no idea, we have no idea, and most of us will never have much more than a small glimpse of real life persecution like this.


We can use this.
We NEED TO use this!
We can walk in HIS strength with our bibles wide open,
spreading the gospel,
to anyone who has ears to hear-
and even those who don't.

while our mouths sing praise...

Out loud!

And giving thanks that WE CAN!

That we still can.
And not forgetting those who lay everything down to do it anyways,
even though it may bring death.

Thursday, October 7, 2010

perception of prosperity

I have many mixed feelings on the topic of prosperity. I mean, this is the world we were born into, it's what we know, it's our life. Some people have it better than others, that's just the way it is. But I'm not sure I believe that wealth, in itself, is such a terrible thing. Look at Job, he was a man of prosperity and a man of God, but, being a strong man of faith the enemy wanted a chance at him. And then look what happened, he lost everything, but still gave praise to God. I think, wealth, when we idolize it and take pride in it (the work of our hands) then it becomes a snare to our salvation.

What breaks my heart is when innocent blood is shed for more; more money, more freedom, more of this, more of that. When it's built by our hands, our human hands, the nature of our earth fathers, and their fathers. By pride, lust, wrath, greed, envy, all of those things that are abhorred by Christ. When it's built on everything opposing to God. I don't believe we have to be dirt poor to understand the love of Jesus. I don't think that having a comfortable bed to sleep in, a nice car to drive, or an air cooled/gas heated home to live in is going to determine our level of crowning in heaven. But I do believe that holding onto those things (or anything of the flesh) without the willingness to let go, will be the death of us spiritually. I believe that whole heartedly.

In revelation 3, the lukewarm church- "Because you say, 'I am rich, have become wealthy, and have need of nothing'—and do not know that you are wretched, miserable, poor, blind, and naked—

And that's what I think it comes down to, we say; I am rich, have become wealthy, and have NEED OF NOTHING. But alas, we are poor and miserable, and have much need for Jesus, because only HE is enough. He had no place to lay His head, yet He graciously gives us a home. And more than that, He died so that we could live. Like a father, the ultimate Father, He gives with abundance, and still, His idea of prosperity isn't anything like we are taught because sometimes He chooses to take away. And sometimes he asks us to give it up. But He always provides what we need. And He wants us to know what it means to need Him and to understand that He really IS enough. Sometimes that means going through a loss. And it almost always hurts. But He is sufficient, we just have to remember that. It is all His, and we have Him, and He is enough.

He says we will be persecuted.

2 Timothy 3:10-12
But you have carefully followed my doctrine, manner of life, purpose, faith, longsuffering, love, perseverance, persecutions, afflictions, which happened to me at Antioch, at Iconium, at Lystra—what persecutions I endured. And out of them all the Lord delivered me. Yes, and all who desire to live godly in Christ Jesus will suffer persecution.

But God is immeasurable, our minds can't even begin to comprehend.

Habakkuk 3:10
The mountains saw You and trembled; The overflowing of the water passed by. The deep uttered its voice, And lifted its hands on high.

And we may not understand how, but He has promised to provide.

1 Kings 17:12-16

So she said, “As the LORD your God lives, I do not have bread, only a handful of flour in a bin, and a little oil in a jar; and see, I am gathering a couple of sticks that I may go in and prepare it for myself and my son, that we may eat it, and die.” And Elijah said to her, “Do not fear; go and do as you have said, but make me a small cake from it first, and bring it to me; and afterward make some for yourself and your son. For thus says the LORD God of Israel: ‘The bin of flour shall not be used up, nor shall the jar of oil run dry, until the day the LORD sends rain on the earth.’” So she went away and did according to the word of Elijah; and she and he and her household ate for many days. The bin of flour was not used up, nor did the jar of oil run dry, according to the word of the LORD which He spoke by Elijah.

Praise You Lord, Maker, Yahweh, Father, King.

Wednesday, September 29, 2010

my home is in Him

I could say that it's partly because I miss the rain. Or because I know that the leaves are changing to crimson and gold. It could have to do with the fact that I am only partially adaptable, and stubborn as an ox. Maybe it's because I can't sit with my family, or my friends, and have coffee, and chat the afternoon away. But I think mostly it's just that life is still moving like it was before, but I'm not there to be part of it.

This past week was the hardest. The newness had worn off and the vacation was over. Life was beginning to feel like it had back home, pretty much normal, except that I wasn't home. I don't drive, not because I can't, but because I haven't gotten up the courage yet. Everyday life here is slower, dirtier, and lonelier than the life I knew before. So, if you can imagine that kind of change, maybe you can begin to understand how I was feeling. It was tough because my flesh wanted so badly to be somewhere it couldn't be. My soul ached for home so much that I couldn't focus on anything else. I found myself in tears, many times, asking God, "why am I here, can't I go home now?" I felt frustrated, dark and I even started to question whether or not we were even supposed to be here. Some people think we aren't, so I got to thinking, maybe they're right. Maybe we jumped the gun and we never should've come in the first place. Maybe I would be happier if we left. But in all my self-centeredness I never once stopped to think that maybe my darkness was clouding others. I avoided the thought that perhaps my selfish desires might be keeping me from doing the work I was sent here to do. So when I finally stopped for a moment and let go of my selfish thoughts, my mind felt free, and God was right there to catch me in His grace and answer my prayers. I mean it, the minute I let go it seemed like a plan was formed allowing me to go home for a month. Nate had been planning a missions trip for him and the students which meant he would be gone for nearly three weeks, which wasn't helping my depressed state, especially since that three weeks coincided with Thanksgiving. So we decided that the girls and I would go home for that period of time. It was perfect! God is so good when we wait upon Him. I suppose one day I'll remember that in the midst of darker days.


So, in a nutshell, I am learning to walk in His love, to call Him home, to live in Him because my perception of home is nothing without Him. Because His love abounds, and His word is true. He set my eyes on a chapter that spoke volumes to my heart in this phase of my life, and I will not lose heart because He who raised up my Lord Jesus will also raise me up WITH Jesus. He will continue to renew our inner man daily, if we allow Him. Praise You Jesus. What an amazing God we serve, I'm speechless.

2 corinthians 4:7-18
But we have this treasure in earthen vessels, that the excellence of the power may be of God and not of us. We are hard-pressed on every side, yet not crushed; we are perplexed, but not in despair; persecuted, but not forsaken; struck down, but not destroyed— always carrying about in the body the dying of the Lord Jesus, that the life of Jesus also may be manifested in our body. For we who live are always delivered to death for Jesus’ sake, that the life of Jesus also may be manifested in our mortal flesh. So then death is working in us, but life in you. And since we have the same spirit of faith, according to what is written, “I believed and therefore I spoke,” we also believe and therefore speak, knowing that He who raised up the Lord Jesus will also raise us up with Jesus, and will present us with you. For all things are for your sakes, that grace, having spread through the many, may cause thanksgiving to abound to the glory of God. Therefore we do not lose heart. Even though our outward man is perishing, yet the inward man is being renewed day by day. For our light affliction, which is but for a moment, is working for us a far more exceeding and eternal weight of glory, while we do not look at the things which are seen, but at the things which are not seen. For the things which are seen are temporary, but the things which are not seen are eternal.

Sunday, September 12, 2010

la vida es buena

Last week was crazy. Seemed like we barely had time enough to get our home in [partial] order before the group showed up. I wasn't sure what to expect, it being our first group and all. Half of the group came to stay, the students, the other half were here as chauffeurs and visitors. The girls' grandma was able to come along and, of course, they were thrilled. It was a great weekend filled with good fellowship, delicious food, volleyball, and tons of laughter. But it ended, as everything does, and on Tuesday morning half of the crowd boarded the van and headed home. I have to say, it was a very strange feeling to be one of the ones staying. The only experiences I'd ever had here were those of a visitor. So it was new, different, kind of odd, but in a good way. It was really the first time since I've been here that it felt sort of like home. Home. I'm still unsure how my heart feels when I hear that word. Everything around me has changed. Everything looks and feels different; the air is thicker, the sun is hotter, the fruit is tastier. Not saying it's better or worse, just different, but I am growing to love it. I do miss my Oregon home; the smell of rain, mi familia, mi amigo[a]s. But for now, this is my home and I am happy.
I am learning to live communally and so far, I really enjoy it. Cooking together, praising the Lord, playing sports, talking, es muy bueno. The students are amazing and I am enjoying getting to know all of them. Sarah is a pure joy to have around and my girls absolutely adore her. Her delight in the Lord is such an encouragement to me and I am thrilled to have her with us for the next few months. Anca is equally fantastic. The girls call her their other mommy and she doesn't seem opposed. I haven't had much of a chance to really get to know her but I can tell already that I love her heart. Austin, what can I say about Austin, or rather, what can I not say. He is the guy who makes you want to sing and dance and talk the day away. His gifts are extraordinary and his heart is set on fire for Papa, I am inspired by his growth. And we have Chris, or Noobs as some of you know him. He has a kind and gentle spirit and the heart of a servant. I can already see transformation in him, from the little things like learning to make coffee and helping with housework, to taking a giant leap of faith and being baptized in Christ. And then there are Danny and David, the Romanian brothers who I don't know very well yet. They seem to be adapting into the group of students very well and I know that they love the Lord completely. And last, but not least, we have Luis, Lance and Maricella's oldest son. He is special, I believe the Father has colossal plans for his life. He is a complete blessing to us. Not only does he speak spanish but he enjoys teaching. So we ask a million questions. I am learning a lot. Also I have been staying up much too late reading the espanol dictionary. And yes, I am having fun with it. Although, conjunctions and learning when to use certain words in the masculine or feminine form can be rather confusing. Tomorrow (monday) we have our first spanish lesson with Letty, I am SO EXCITED! She will be going through the basics with us for two hours every monday. I can't wait, it is very difficult being the foreigner, I never quite understood it like I do now.
Well, tomorrow marks the first day of the second week of school. Nate says it is going very well and the students are learning and growing a lot. On Saturday evening Luis, Austin and Chris decided they wanted to be baptized so we all piled in the van and went to the beach. It was incredible and totally surreal, no words can describe the power in what our Father can do. He is Daddy, He is Jehovah, He is the King and He cares for us. I think I will stop there and sleep on that.

Dios te bendiga.
Te quieros todos.