I can't begin to imagine a life where morning prayer is done in secret.
Where worship is silent; heartfelt, Spirit filled, but without sound.
A place where a whisper of my faith could (and likely would) be punishable by death.
Persecution.
Matthew 24:9
“Then they will deliver you up to tribulation and kill you, and you will be hated by all nations for My name’s sake.
I can't begin to know that kind of persecution.
But,
I kind of want to.
I want to know...
Would I do as Peter?
Would I deny you three times?
Will my fear stand firm before me as I hide my face from the enemy and beg for my life? Or will my knees crush the soil beneath me as I fall to the ground in full armored faith. Knowing that, even in death, nothing can separate me from Your love.
NOTHING.
No, not one thing can separate us from the love of Christ.
Romans 8:35-39
Who shall separate us from the love of Christ? Shall tribulation, or distress, or persecution, or famine, or nakedness, or peril, or sword? As it is written: “ For Your sake we are killed all day long; We are accounted as sheep for the slaughter.” Yet in all these things we are more than conquerors through Him who loved us. For I am persuaded that neither death nor life, nor angels nor principalities nor powers, nor things present nor things to come, nor height nor depth, nor any other created thing, shall be able to separate us from the love of God which is in Christ Jesus our Lord.
I have no idea, we have no idea, and most of us will never have much more than a small glimpse of real life persecution like this.
BUT-
We can use this.
We NEED TO use this!
We can walk in HIS strength with our bibles wide open,
spreading the gospel,
to anyone who has ears to hear-
and even those who don't.
while our mouths sing praise...
Out loud!
ALL THE TIME.
And giving thanks that WE CAN!
That we still can.
And not forgetting those who lay everything down to do it anyways,
even though it may bring death.
Wednesday, November 3, 2010
Thursday, October 7, 2010
perception of prosperity
I have many mixed feelings on the topic of prosperity. I mean, this is the world we were born into, it's what we know, it's our life. Some people have it better than others, that's just the way it is. But I'm not sure I believe that wealth, in itself, is such a terrible thing. Look at Job, he was a man of prosperity and a man of God, but, being a strong man of faith the enemy wanted a chance at him. And then look what happened, he lost everything, but still gave praise to God. I think, wealth, when we idolize it and take pride in it (the work of our hands) then it becomes a snare to our salvation.
What breaks my heart is when innocent blood is shed for more; more money, more freedom, more of this, more of that. When it's built by our hands, our human hands, the nature of our earth fathers, and their fathers. By pride, lust, wrath, greed, envy, all of those things that are abhorred by Christ. When it's built on everything opposing to God. I don't believe we have to be dirt poor to understand the love of Jesus. I don't think that having a comfortable bed to sleep in, a nice car to drive, or an air cooled/gas heated home to live in is going to determine our level of crowning in heaven. But I do believe that holding onto those things (or anything of the flesh) without the willingness to let go, will be the death of us spiritually. I believe that whole heartedly.
In revelation 3, the lukewarm church- "Because you say, 'I am rich, have become wealthy, and have need of nothing'—and do not know that you are wretched, miserable, poor, blind, and naked—
And that's what I think it comes down to, we say; I am rich, have become wealthy, and have NEED OF NOTHING. But alas, we are poor and miserable, and have much need for Jesus, because only HE is enough. He had no place to lay His head, yet He graciously gives us a home. And more than that, He died so that we could live. Like a father, the ultimate Father, He gives with abundance, and still, His idea of prosperity isn't anything like we are taught because sometimes He chooses to take away. And sometimes he asks us to give it up. But He always provides what we need. And He wants us to know what it means to need Him and to understand that He really IS enough. Sometimes that means going through a loss. And it almost always hurts. But He is sufficient, we just have to remember that. It is all His, and we have Him, and He is enough.
He says we will be persecuted.
2 Timothy 3:10-12
But you have carefully followed my doctrine, manner of life, purpose, faith, longsuffering, love, perseverance, persecutions, afflictions, which happened to me at Antioch, at Iconium, at Lystra—what persecutions I endured. And out of them all the Lord delivered me. Yes, and all who desire to live godly in Christ Jesus will suffer persecution.
But God is immeasurable, our minds can't even begin to comprehend.
Habakkuk 3:10
The mountains saw You and trembled; The overflowing of the water passed by. The deep uttered its voice, And lifted its hands on high.
And we may not understand how, but He has promised to provide.
1 Kings 17:12-16
So she said, “As the LORD your God lives, I do not have bread, only a handful of flour in a bin, and a little oil in a jar; and see, I am gathering a couple of sticks that I may go in and prepare it for myself and my son, that we may eat it, and die.” And Elijah said to her, “Do not fear; go and do as you have said, but make me a small cake from it first, and bring it to me; and afterward make some for yourself and your son. For thus says the LORD God of Israel: ‘The bin of flour shall not be used up, nor shall the jar of oil run dry, until the day the LORD sends rain on the earth.’” So she went away and did according to the word of Elijah; and she and he and her household ate for many days. The bin of flour was not used up, nor did the jar of oil run dry, according to the word of the LORD which He spoke by Elijah.
Praise You Lord, Maker, Yahweh, Father, King.
What breaks my heart is when innocent blood is shed for more; more money, more freedom, more of this, more of that. When it's built by our hands, our human hands, the nature of our earth fathers, and their fathers. By pride, lust, wrath, greed, envy, all of those things that are abhorred by Christ. When it's built on everything opposing to God. I don't believe we have to be dirt poor to understand the love of Jesus. I don't think that having a comfortable bed to sleep in, a nice car to drive, or an air cooled/gas heated home to live in is going to determine our level of crowning in heaven. But I do believe that holding onto those things (or anything of the flesh) without the willingness to let go, will be the death of us spiritually. I believe that whole heartedly.
In revelation 3, the lukewarm church- "Because you say, 'I am rich, have become wealthy, and have need of nothing'—and do not know that you are wretched, miserable, poor, blind, and naked—
And that's what I think it comes down to, we say; I am rich, have become wealthy, and have NEED OF NOTHING. But alas, we are poor and miserable, and have much need for Jesus, because only HE is enough. He had no place to lay His head, yet He graciously gives us a home. And more than that, He died so that we could live. Like a father, the ultimate Father, He gives with abundance, and still, His idea of prosperity isn't anything like we are taught because sometimes He chooses to take away. And sometimes he asks us to give it up. But He always provides what we need. And He wants us to know what it means to need Him and to understand that He really IS enough. Sometimes that means going through a loss. And it almost always hurts. But He is sufficient, we just have to remember that. It is all His, and we have Him, and He is enough.
He says we will be persecuted.
2 Timothy 3:10-12
But you have carefully followed my doctrine, manner of life, purpose, faith, longsuffering, love, perseverance, persecutions, afflictions, which happened to me at Antioch, at Iconium, at Lystra—what persecutions I endured. And out of them all the Lord delivered me. Yes, and all who desire to live godly in Christ Jesus will suffer persecution.
But God is immeasurable, our minds can't even begin to comprehend.
Habakkuk 3:10
The mountains saw You and trembled; The overflowing of the water passed by. The deep uttered its voice, And lifted its hands on high.
And we may not understand how, but He has promised to provide.
1 Kings 17:12-16
So she said, “As the LORD your God lives, I do not have bread, only a handful of flour in a bin, and a little oil in a jar; and see, I am gathering a couple of sticks that I may go in and prepare it for myself and my son, that we may eat it, and die.” And Elijah said to her, “Do not fear; go and do as you have said, but make me a small cake from it first, and bring it to me; and afterward make some for yourself and your son. For thus says the LORD God of Israel: ‘The bin of flour shall not be used up, nor shall the jar of oil run dry, until the day the LORD sends rain on the earth.’” So she went away and did according to the word of Elijah; and she and he and her household ate for many days. The bin of flour was not used up, nor did the jar of oil run dry, according to the word of the LORD which He spoke by Elijah.
Praise You Lord, Maker, Yahweh, Father, King.
Saturday, October 2, 2010
Wednesday, September 29, 2010
my home is in Him
I could say that it's partly because I miss the rain. Or because I know that the leaves are changing to crimson and gold. It could have to do with the fact that I am only partially adaptable, and stubborn as an ox. Maybe it's because I can't sit with my family, or my friends, and have coffee, and chat the afternoon away. But I think mostly it's just that life is still moving like it was before, but I'm not there to be part of it.
This past week was the hardest. The newness had worn off and the vacation was over. Life was beginning to feel like it had back home, pretty much normal, except that I wasn't home. I don't drive, not because I can't, but because I haven't gotten up the courage yet. Everyday life here is slower, dirtier, and lonelier than the life I knew before. So, if you can imagine that kind of change, maybe you can begin to understand how I was feeling. It was tough because my flesh wanted so badly to be somewhere it couldn't be. My soul ached for home so much that I couldn't focus on anything else. I found myself in tears, many times, asking God, "why am I here, can't I go home now?" I felt frustrated, dark and I even started to question whether or not we were even supposed to be here. Some people think we aren't, so I got to thinking, maybe they're right. Maybe we jumped the gun and we never should've come in the first place. Maybe I would be happier if we left. But in all my self-centeredness I never once stopped to think that maybe my darkness was clouding others. I avoided the thought that perhaps my selfish desires might be keeping me from doing the work I was sent here to do. So when I finally stopped for a moment and let go of my selfish thoughts, my mind felt free, and God was right there to catch me in His grace and answer my prayers. I mean it, the minute I let go it seemed like a plan was formed allowing me to go home for a month. Nate had been planning a missions trip for him and the students which meant he would be gone for nearly three weeks, which wasn't helping my depressed state, especially since that three weeks coincided with Thanksgiving. So we decided that the girls and I would go home for that period of time. It was perfect! God is so good when we wait upon Him. I suppose one day I'll remember that in the midst of darker days.
Sigh.
So, in a nutshell, I am learning to walk in His love, to call Him home, to live in Him because my perception of home is nothing without Him. Because His love abounds, and His word is true. He set my eyes on a chapter that spoke volumes to my heart in this phase of my life, and I will not lose heart because He who raised up my Lord Jesus will also raise me up WITH Jesus. He will continue to renew our inner man daily, if we allow Him. Praise You Jesus. What an amazing God we serve, I'm speechless.
2 corinthians 4:7-18
But we have this treasure in earthen vessels, that the excellence of the power may be of God and not of us. We are hard-pressed on every side, yet not crushed; we are perplexed, but not in despair; persecuted, but not forsaken; struck down, but not destroyed— always carrying about in the body the dying of the Lord Jesus, that the life of Jesus also may be manifested in our body. For we who live are always delivered to death for Jesus’ sake, that the life of Jesus also may be manifested in our mortal flesh. So then death is working in us, but life in you. And since we have the same spirit of faith, according to what is written, “I believed and therefore I spoke,” we also believe and therefore speak, knowing that He who raised up the Lord Jesus will also raise us up with Jesus, and will present us with you. For all things are for your sakes, that grace, having spread through the many, may cause thanksgiving to abound to the glory of God. Therefore we do not lose heart. Even though our outward man is perishing, yet the inward man is being renewed day by day. For our light affliction, which is but for a moment, is working for us a far more exceeding and eternal weight of glory, while we do not look at the things which are seen, but at the things which are not seen. For the things which are seen are temporary, but the things which are not seen are eternal.
This past week was the hardest. The newness had worn off and the vacation was over. Life was beginning to feel like it had back home, pretty much normal, except that I wasn't home. I don't drive, not because I can't, but because I haven't gotten up the courage yet. Everyday life here is slower, dirtier, and lonelier than the life I knew before. So, if you can imagine that kind of change, maybe you can begin to understand how I was feeling. It was tough because my flesh wanted so badly to be somewhere it couldn't be. My soul ached for home so much that I couldn't focus on anything else. I found myself in tears, many times, asking God, "why am I here, can't I go home now?" I felt frustrated, dark and I even started to question whether or not we were even supposed to be here. Some people think we aren't, so I got to thinking, maybe they're right. Maybe we jumped the gun and we never should've come in the first place. Maybe I would be happier if we left. But in all my self-centeredness I never once stopped to think that maybe my darkness was clouding others. I avoided the thought that perhaps my selfish desires might be keeping me from doing the work I was sent here to do. So when I finally stopped for a moment and let go of my selfish thoughts, my mind felt free, and God was right there to catch me in His grace and answer my prayers. I mean it, the minute I let go it seemed like a plan was formed allowing me to go home for a month. Nate had been planning a missions trip for him and the students which meant he would be gone for nearly three weeks, which wasn't helping my depressed state, especially since that three weeks coincided with Thanksgiving. So we decided that the girls and I would go home for that period of time. It was perfect! God is so good when we wait upon Him. I suppose one day I'll remember that in the midst of darker days.
Sigh.
So, in a nutshell, I am learning to walk in His love, to call Him home, to live in Him because my perception of home is nothing without Him. Because His love abounds, and His word is true. He set my eyes on a chapter that spoke volumes to my heart in this phase of my life, and I will not lose heart because He who raised up my Lord Jesus will also raise me up WITH Jesus. He will continue to renew our inner man daily, if we allow Him. Praise You Jesus. What an amazing God we serve, I'm speechless.
2 corinthians 4:7-18
But we have this treasure in earthen vessels, that the excellence of the power may be of God and not of us. We are hard-pressed on every side, yet not crushed; we are perplexed, but not in despair; persecuted, but not forsaken; struck down, but not destroyed— always carrying about in the body the dying of the Lord Jesus, that the life of Jesus also may be manifested in our body. For we who live are always delivered to death for Jesus’ sake, that the life of Jesus also may be manifested in our mortal flesh. So then death is working in us, but life in you. And since we have the same spirit of faith, according to what is written, “I believed and therefore I spoke,” we also believe and therefore speak, knowing that He who raised up the Lord Jesus will also raise us up with Jesus, and will present us with you. For all things are for your sakes, that grace, having spread through the many, may cause thanksgiving to abound to the glory of God. Therefore we do not lose heart. Even though our outward man is perishing, yet the inward man is being renewed day by day. For our light affliction, which is but for a moment, is working for us a far more exceeding and eternal weight of glory, while we do not look at the things which are seen, but at the things which are not seen. For the things which are seen are temporary, but the things which are not seen are eternal.
Sunday, September 12, 2010
la vida es buena
Last week was crazy. Seemed like we barely had time enough to get our home in [partial] order before the group showed up. I wasn't sure what to expect, it being our first group and all. Half of the group came to stay, the students, the other half were here as chauffeurs and visitors. The girls' grandma was able to come along and, of course, they were thrilled. It was a great weekend filled with good fellowship, delicious food, volleyball, and tons of laughter. But it ended, as everything does, and on Tuesday morning half of the crowd boarded the van and headed home. I have to say, it was a very strange feeling to be one of the ones staying. The only experiences I'd ever had here were those of a visitor. So it was new, different, kind of odd, but in a good way. It was really the first time since I've been here that it felt sort of like home. Home. I'm still unsure how my heart feels when I hear that word. Everything around me has changed. Everything looks and feels different; the air is thicker, the sun is hotter, the fruit is tastier. Not saying it's better or worse, just different, but I am growing to love it. I do miss my Oregon home; the smell of rain, mi familia, mi amigo[a]s. But for now, this is my home and I am happy.
I am learning to live communally and so far, I really enjoy it. Cooking together, praising the Lord, playing sports, talking, es muy bueno. The students are amazing and I am enjoying getting to know all of them. Sarah is a pure joy to have around and my girls absolutely adore her. Her delight in the Lord is such an encouragement to me and I am thrilled to have her with us for the next few months. Anca is equally fantastic. The girls call her their other mommy and she doesn't seem opposed. I haven't had much of a chance to really get to know her but I can tell already that I love her heart. Austin, what can I say about Austin, or rather, what can I not say. He is the guy who makes you want to sing and dance and talk the day away. His gifts are extraordinary and his heart is set on fire for Papa, I am inspired by his growth. And we have Chris, or Noobs as some of you know him. He has a kind and gentle spirit and the heart of a servant. I can already see transformation in him, from the little things like learning to make coffee and helping with housework, to taking a giant leap of faith and being baptized in Christ. And then there are Danny and David, the Romanian brothers who I don't know very well yet. They seem to be adapting into the group of students very well and I know that they love the Lord completely. And last, but not least, we have Luis, Lance and Maricella's oldest son. He is special, I believe the Father has colossal plans for his life. He is a complete blessing to us. Not only does he speak spanish but he enjoys teaching. So we ask a million questions. I am learning a lot. Also I have been staying up much too late reading the espanol dictionary. And yes, I am having fun with it. Although, conjunctions and learning when to use certain words in the masculine or feminine form can be rather confusing. Tomorrow (monday) we have our first spanish lesson with Letty, I am SO EXCITED! She will be going through the basics with us for two hours every monday. I can't wait, it is very difficult being the foreigner, I never quite understood it like I do now.
Well, tomorrow marks the first day of the second week of school. Nate says it is going very well and the students are learning and growing a lot. On Saturday evening Luis, Austin and Chris decided they wanted to be baptized so we all piled in the van and went to the beach. It was incredible and totally surreal, no words can describe the power in what our Father can do. He is Daddy, He is Jehovah, He is the King and He cares for us. I think I will stop there and sleep on that.
Dios te bendiga.
Te quieros todos.
I am learning to live communally and so far, I really enjoy it. Cooking together, praising the Lord, playing sports, talking, es muy bueno. The students are amazing and I am enjoying getting to know all of them. Sarah is a pure joy to have around and my girls absolutely adore her. Her delight in the Lord is such an encouragement to me and I am thrilled to have her with us for the next few months. Anca is equally fantastic. The girls call her their other mommy and she doesn't seem opposed. I haven't had much of a chance to really get to know her but I can tell already that I love her heart. Austin, what can I say about Austin, or rather, what can I not say. He is the guy who makes you want to sing and dance and talk the day away. His gifts are extraordinary and his heart is set on fire for Papa, I am inspired by his growth. And we have Chris, or Noobs as some of you know him. He has a kind and gentle spirit and the heart of a servant. I can already see transformation in him, from the little things like learning to make coffee and helping with housework, to taking a giant leap of faith and being baptized in Christ. And then there are Danny and David, the Romanian brothers who I don't know very well yet. They seem to be adapting into the group of students very well and I know that they love the Lord completely. And last, but not least, we have Luis, Lance and Maricella's oldest son. He is special, I believe the Father has colossal plans for his life. He is a complete blessing to us. Not only does he speak spanish but he enjoys teaching. So we ask a million questions. I am learning a lot. Also I have been staying up much too late reading the espanol dictionary. And yes, I am having fun with it. Although, conjunctions and learning when to use certain words in the masculine or feminine form can be rather confusing. Tomorrow (monday) we have our first spanish lesson with Letty, I am SO EXCITED! She will be going through the basics with us for two hours every monday. I can't wait, it is very difficult being the foreigner, I never quite understood it like I do now.
Well, tomorrow marks the first day of the second week of school. Nate says it is going very well and the students are learning and growing a lot. On Saturday evening Luis, Austin and Chris decided they wanted to be baptized so we all piled in the van and went to the beach. It was incredible and totally surreal, no words can describe the power in what our Father can do. He is Daddy, He is Jehovah, He is the King and He cares for us. I think I will stop there and sleep on that.
Dios te bendiga.
Te quieros todos.
Friday, September 3, 2010
Obedience.
Before we left to come here, God used someone to speak to me. He told me to come with eyes to see, with ears to hear, with a willing heart. He told me to be open and sensitive to the Spirit. So I came with basic preparation to hear and see what my Father wanted. But what I saw wasn't at all what I had expected.
It came in with a wave of oppression. Almost immediately upon setting foot into our new home, I was weighed down. I felt like an oyster fighting a grain of sand, confined and uncomfortable. I couldn't make it go away. I prayed and pleaded that it would be gone, yet nothing, and my frustration grew. I blamed it on my emotions, moving blues, stress, anything and everything I could think of to pass it onto. But what I had yet to realize was that He was forming a pearl of wisdom within me.
A few afternoons ago, He took me to the orchard. With His Word in my hands, I sat at the foot of the mountain which holds the three crosses. I had no strength to speak, I wanted to pray, to cry out, but nothing. So I sat there and allowed myself to just be, while I took in all the beauty surrounding me. As time passed, my aching soul was slowly soothed by the warm orchard breeze, by the sweet sound of cooing doves, by the fragrant scent of orange blossoms. Then, as I entered into His rest, He pulled me into the past, not my past but the history of the land, and gave me a vision. He opened my eyes to a darkness that had been thriving here. He showed me the reason I had been filled with oppression. He revealed to me that He had authorized it to simply show me the strength of this principality. He wanted me to see where I would be if I turned away from Him. Then He filled me to overflowing and I could feel His heart breaking knowing that He had to allow pain when all He wanted to do was love. When I was finally ready to burst from His power, my eyes were opened and He showed me a verse.
2 Chronicles 16:9
"For the eyes of the LORD range throughout the earth to strengthen those whose hearts are fully committed to him."
He spends His precious time seeking out fully committed hearts. Do you get that? FULLY COMMITTED. That's not the middle road, not lukewarm and partially loyal, but ALL THE WAY. All the way to wherever He wants to take us. That's His desire, to strengthen those whose hearts are completely willing and ready. Conviction is huge when it applies to you. It's a feeling of remorse knowing you disappointed Daddy, the one who created the world, the one who gives it all to prove His love for us. It should bring us to our knees in repentance. Then He gave me another verse. A confidence verse, the last half of Daniel 11:32
"but the people who know their God shall be strong, and carry out great exploits."
This filled me with the strength that only He can give and set my feet on the path before me. He showed me that He has something for everyone, that His desire is for ALL of His children to be strong, to do great things. And yet, sadly, it seems there is a short supply of fully armored disciples ready for battle. Wow, talk about adversity. In my growth I am discovering that with wisdom come much sorrow.
So now what, I know these things, but what do I do with them? I continued to sit, and wait, learning patience in the quiet moments. And then He lifted my gaze up to the crosses and showed me my first step. Climb the mountain. Ok, big deal right? Well, here's the thing, ordinarily this would be simple but last week one of the girls saw a rattlesnake on her journey up. Um, not a huge fan of snakes, and a death viper at that?! (Ok, ok, I'm adding a hint of drama for your sake, but still) "Uh, God? Are you sure about this? It's a big snake... What if it bites me?" Let me just tell you that my Papa in heaven is the greatest Father anyone could ever ask for. He filled me with peace and gave me a perfectly fitted verse (yeah, I'm pretty sure it was written for me for this specific situation).
Luke 10:19
Behold, I give you the authority to trample on serpents and scorpions, and over all the power of the enemy, and nothing shall by any means hurt you.
Seriously?! Nothing shall by ANY means hurt you..! He tells me I can walk through a pit of killer snakes and wade into an assembly of scorpions (which are here and yes they freak me out big-time) and NOT be touched. Woah. Now that holds some serious power. So, I went, I hiked the mountain and sat at the base of the crosses feeling grateful, feeling abundantly loved. It was simple, it was a tiny step in learning to listen, it was small but not without significance. I am in training, and growing , and letting go of childish things and learning to walk completely in His Spirit.
A friend shared this verse with me today. It was a completion to the puzzle. I know what is needed for His light to shine through me. And it all comes down to obedience.
Isaiah 60:1-3
Arise, shine; For your light has come! And the glory of the LORD is risen upon you. For behold, the darkness shall cover the earth, And deep darkness the people; But the LORD will arise over you, And His glory will be seen upon you. The Gentiles shall come to your light, And kings to the brightness of your rising.
Blessings to you amigos and amigas. I pray with much devotion for all of you who are following me on my journey through this world. I plead with our Father for your eyes to see and ears to hear what it is that He has for you. I ask you to listen and to obey.
Peace to you all.
Dios te bendiga.
It came in with a wave of oppression. Almost immediately upon setting foot into our new home, I was weighed down. I felt like an oyster fighting a grain of sand, confined and uncomfortable. I couldn't make it go away. I prayed and pleaded that it would be gone, yet nothing, and my frustration grew. I blamed it on my emotions, moving blues, stress, anything and everything I could think of to pass it onto. But what I had yet to realize was that He was forming a pearl of wisdom within me.
A few afternoons ago, He took me to the orchard. With His Word in my hands, I sat at the foot of the mountain which holds the three crosses. I had no strength to speak, I wanted to pray, to cry out, but nothing. So I sat there and allowed myself to just be, while I took in all the beauty surrounding me. As time passed, my aching soul was slowly soothed by the warm orchard breeze, by the sweet sound of cooing doves, by the fragrant scent of orange blossoms. Then, as I entered into His rest, He pulled me into the past, not my past but the history of the land, and gave me a vision. He opened my eyes to a darkness that had been thriving here. He showed me the reason I had been filled with oppression. He revealed to me that He had authorized it to simply show me the strength of this principality. He wanted me to see where I would be if I turned away from Him. Then He filled me to overflowing and I could feel His heart breaking knowing that He had to allow pain when all He wanted to do was love. When I was finally ready to burst from His power, my eyes were opened and He showed me a verse.
2 Chronicles 16:9
"For the eyes of the LORD range throughout the earth to strengthen those whose hearts are fully committed to him."
He spends His precious time seeking out fully committed hearts. Do you get that? FULLY COMMITTED. That's not the middle road, not lukewarm and partially loyal, but ALL THE WAY. All the way to wherever He wants to take us. That's His desire, to strengthen those whose hearts are completely willing and ready. Conviction is huge when it applies to you. It's a feeling of remorse knowing you disappointed Daddy, the one who created the world, the one who gives it all to prove His love for us. It should bring us to our knees in repentance. Then He gave me another verse. A confidence verse, the last half of Daniel 11:32
"but the people who know their God shall be strong, and carry out great exploits."
This filled me with the strength that only He can give and set my feet on the path before me. He showed me that He has something for everyone, that His desire is for ALL of His children to be strong, to do great things. And yet, sadly, it seems there is a short supply of fully armored disciples ready for battle. Wow, talk about adversity. In my growth I am discovering that with wisdom come much sorrow.
So now what, I know these things, but what do I do with them? I continued to sit, and wait, learning patience in the quiet moments. And then He lifted my gaze up to the crosses and showed me my first step. Climb the mountain. Ok, big deal right? Well, here's the thing, ordinarily this would be simple but last week one of the girls saw a rattlesnake on her journey up. Um, not a huge fan of snakes, and a death viper at that?! (Ok, ok, I'm adding a hint of drama for your sake, but still) "Uh, God? Are you sure about this? It's a big snake... What if it bites me?" Let me just tell you that my Papa in heaven is the greatest Father anyone could ever ask for. He filled me with peace and gave me a perfectly fitted verse (yeah, I'm pretty sure it was written for me for this specific situation).
Luke 10:19
Behold, I give you the authority to trample on serpents and scorpions, and over all the power of the enemy, and nothing shall by any means hurt you.
Seriously?! Nothing shall by ANY means hurt you..! He tells me I can walk through a pit of killer snakes and wade into an assembly of scorpions (which are here and yes they freak me out big-time) and NOT be touched. Woah. Now that holds some serious power. So, I went, I hiked the mountain and sat at the base of the crosses feeling grateful, feeling abundantly loved. It was simple, it was a tiny step in learning to listen, it was small but not without significance. I am in training, and growing , and letting go of childish things and learning to walk completely in His Spirit.
A friend shared this verse with me today. It was a completion to the puzzle. I know what is needed for His light to shine through me. And it all comes down to obedience.
Isaiah 60:1-3
Arise, shine; For your light has come! And the glory of the LORD is risen upon you. For behold, the darkness shall cover the earth, And deep darkness the people; But the LORD will arise over you, And His glory will be seen upon you. The Gentiles shall come to your light, And kings to the brightness of your rising.
Blessings to you amigos and amigas. I pray with much devotion for all of you who are following me on my journey through this world. I plead with our Father for your eyes to see and ears to hear what it is that He has for you. I ask you to listen and to obey.
Peace to you all.
Dios te bendiga.
Wednesday, September 1, 2010
First week.
Well, here it is, here we are, in our new home, making it home. We've been here for a week already, but it doesn't feel like it. I am starting to miss my family, my church, my other home. It feels like we are visiting, yet I know we are staying. It is strange and surreal. It is a place filled with such beauty that it leaves me overwhelmed and breathless. There are trees filled with fruit of so many kinds; citrus, pomegranate, avocado, pear, apple, guava, prickly pear (opuntia, or tuna), sapote, loquats, and yesterday we got our first batch of wild honey made from the nectar of all of these delectable fruit blossoms. It's close to perfect, aside from the dust monster that cannot be escaped. But I love it, I'm overjoyed that the Lord has called us to be here for a season, how long that season is I have yet to know. But He is teaching me patience and creating in me a willing heart.
As some of you may have read in Shae's blog, we have both been painting our homes. I just finished the girls room, I used a yellowish green on one wall, and an an aqua blue on the other three. If you ever saw the colors I did in their old room on Newton creek, it's the same paint. But I tweaked the yellow with a greenish color to make it a little less yellow and a tad more green. I'll soon be posting photos.
I have the first coat of paint done in the living room, it's a pea soup shade of green. The can of paint I bought originally was too brown so I added a pint of aqua that I happened to have. It came out the perfect shade of green for a living room. I'm excited to see the final product.
The girls are loving it here. First thing in the morning they want to be outside, playing on their bikes and exploring, and playing with Asa and Taiah of course. They are all getting along amazingly (mostly) with the exception of a squabble here and there, but nothing major. God is keeping them protected, so far Storie has been stung by a bee but nothing more than a minor scrape or scratch.
God has been working in a big way. I can feel Him in everything. I could go into more detail about my Father but I am working on another blog pertaining to just that. Keep checking for it. I'll give you a preview with this verse He shared with me in Luke.
Then the seventy returned with joy, saying, “Lord, even the demons are subject to us in Your name.” And He said to them, “I saw Satan fall like lightning from heaven. Behold, I give you the authority to trample on serpents and scorpions, and over all the power of the enemy, and nothing shall by any means hurt you. Nevertheless do not rejoice in this, that the spirits are subject to you, but rather rejoice because your names are written in heaven.”
- Luke 10:17-20
There is so much power in this passage that I am without words to describe it. If you want further insight on what God is doing in my life here at Tres Cruces, read all of Luke 10 and meditate on it. This shares exactly where I am.
We are feeling very blessed by your thoughts and prayers. Please don't stop.
Dios te bendiga!!
And mucho love to you all.
As some of you may have read in Shae's blog, we have both been painting our homes. I just finished the girls room, I used a yellowish green on one wall, and an an aqua blue on the other three. If you ever saw the colors I did in their old room on Newton creek, it's the same paint. But I tweaked the yellow with a greenish color to make it a little less yellow and a tad more green. I'll soon be posting photos.
I have the first coat of paint done in the living room, it's a pea soup shade of green. The can of paint I bought originally was too brown so I added a pint of aqua that I happened to have. It came out the perfect shade of green for a living room. I'm excited to see the final product.
The girls are loving it here. First thing in the morning they want to be outside, playing on their bikes and exploring, and playing with Asa and Taiah of course. They are all getting along amazingly (mostly) with the exception of a squabble here and there, but nothing major. God is keeping them protected, so far Storie has been stung by a bee but nothing more than a minor scrape or scratch.
God has been working in a big way. I can feel Him in everything. I could go into more detail about my Father but I am working on another blog pertaining to just that. Keep checking for it. I'll give you a preview with this verse He shared with me in Luke.
Then the seventy returned with joy, saying, “Lord, even the demons are subject to us in Your name.” And He said to them, “I saw Satan fall like lightning from heaven. Behold, I give you the authority to trample on serpents and scorpions, and over all the power of the enemy, and nothing shall by any means hurt you. Nevertheless do not rejoice in this, that the spirits are subject to you, but rather rejoice because your names are written in heaven.”
- Luke 10:17-20
There is so much power in this passage that I am without words to describe it. If you want further insight on what God is doing in my life here at Tres Cruces, read all of Luke 10 and meditate on it. This shares exactly where I am.
We are feeling very blessed by your thoughts and prayers. Please don't stop.
Dios te bendiga!!
And mucho love to you all.
Tuesday, August 24, 2010
Are we there yet?
Well, we did it. After what felt like an eternity we finally left our home, our town, our country. Yes, you read that right, if you didn't know before reading this, we are on our way to Mexico. It seems like we have been planning this forever, when in reality it has only been a few months. It also seemed like this day would never actually come.
Last month Nate went down with a trailer load of our important items, which left me behind with a houseful of things we weren't bringing. It was QUITE the task but after lots of handouts, yard sales, and donations, we finally cleaned it out. Needless to say, the past couple of weeks we have been living in an empty home. Talk about strange. And not all that comfortable. You never really think about how great a couch is until you haven't one. But God is so good to us and He was taking us through a glorious refining process. I learned that things are temporary, replaceable, and in a lot of cases, completely unnecessary. Also, in that time, I got a chance to make some amazing new friends. Which then brought up a question in my spirit, why now Lord? Why do you allow people into our lives just to uproot us from the growth that has been started... What He showed me was that He was building firm foundations in the body. He was allowing genuine transparency to be formed for His glory.
Beautiful.
But anyways, back to our story. To say the least, we were tired when we woke up this morning. The alarm buzzed at 5 am. The sun wasn't awake, my eyes were glued shut, and my body just kept saying, nooooooo.... But I knew that today was "the day", so I picked myself up and smiled anyway. I opened my bible to Psalm 59. Verses 16 and 17 spoke the loudest.
But I will sing of Your power;
yes, I will sing aloud of Your mercy in the morning;
for You have been my defense
and refuge in the day of my trouble.
To You, O my Strength, I will sing praises;
for God is my defense,
my God of mercy.
Wow Lord, could You BE any more amazing?! We grumble, complain, whine and groan over trivial life matters and STILL He chooses to bless us. Still He chooses. Which makes me realize that we have a choice to make as well. Every single morning we can choose to sing praises to Him, or we can lament over the miseries of this world. I choose Jesus.
We set off at 7 am with the car loaded to the roof, perhaps we looked a wee bit like the beverly hillbillies. The only thing missing was granny and her rocker. Then we drove and drove and drove and drove and then drove some more. With a stop or two here and there, food, potty breaks, coffee (of course). And then finally, FINALLY, we found our destination. In the heart of the grapevine we nestled into the holiday inn express (oooh express eh?) Apparently the express part meant that it was infested with fleas. Yeah, gross I know, Nate killed half a dozen before he passed out in a REAL bed for the first time in a month. But all I kept thinking was, at least it's not bed bugs..! But seriously, yuck, and I'm almost positive he will be talking to the manager in the morning. (Cause that's just the way he rolls...) So here we are, sleeping in actual beds, with bona fide Labeck fleas and a jack in the box right out the front door. Mmmmmmm hmmm, it's the life baby. But, all humor aside, tomorrow evening we will officially step foot into our new home. I am excited and nervous, I'm anxious to see Shae and her family, but sad to leave my friends back home. I miss my family already, but I know that this change is necessary to draw us all deeper into the body of Christ. I am ecstatic to see what my Father has in store and I am so blessed by all of you.
Please don't forget us.
I love you all.
Last month Nate went down with a trailer load of our important items, which left me behind with a houseful of things we weren't bringing. It was QUITE the task but after lots of handouts, yard sales, and donations, we finally cleaned it out. Needless to say, the past couple of weeks we have been living in an empty home. Talk about strange. And not all that comfortable. You never really think about how great a couch is until you haven't one. But God is so good to us and He was taking us through a glorious refining process. I learned that things are temporary, replaceable, and in a lot of cases, completely unnecessary. Also, in that time, I got a chance to make some amazing new friends. Which then brought up a question in my spirit, why now Lord? Why do you allow people into our lives just to uproot us from the growth that has been started... What He showed me was that He was building firm foundations in the body. He was allowing genuine transparency to be formed for His glory.
Beautiful.
But anyways, back to our story. To say the least, we were tired when we woke up this morning. The alarm buzzed at 5 am. The sun wasn't awake, my eyes were glued shut, and my body just kept saying, nooooooo.... But I knew that today was "the day", so I picked myself up and smiled anyway. I opened my bible to Psalm 59. Verses 16 and 17 spoke the loudest.
But I will sing of Your power;
yes, I will sing aloud of Your mercy in the morning;
for You have been my defense
and refuge in the day of my trouble.
To You, O my Strength, I will sing praises;
for God is my defense,
my God of mercy.
Wow Lord, could You BE any more amazing?! We grumble, complain, whine and groan over trivial life matters and STILL He chooses to bless us. Still He chooses. Which makes me realize that we have a choice to make as well. Every single morning we can choose to sing praises to Him, or we can lament over the miseries of this world. I choose Jesus.
We set off at 7 am with the car loaded to the roof, perhaps we looked a wee bit like the beverly hillbillies. The only thing missing was granny and her rocker. Then we drove and drove and drove and drove and then drove some more. With a stop or two here and there, food, potty breaks, coffee (of course). And then finally, FINALLY, we found our destination. In the heart of the grapevine we nestled into the holiday inn express (oooh express eh?) Apparently the express part meant that it was infested with fleas. Yeah, gross I know, Nate killed half a dozen before he passed out in a REAL bed for the first time in a month. But all I kept thinking was, at least it's not bed bugs..! But seriously, yuck, and I'm almost positive he will be talking to the manager in the morning. (Cause that's just the way he rolls...) So here we are, sleeping in actual beds, with bona fide Labeck fleas and a jack in the box right out the front door. Mmmmmmm hmmm, it's the life baby. But, all humor aside, tomorrow evening we will officially step foot into our new home. I am excited and nervous, I'm anxious to see Shae and her family, but sad to leave my friends back home. I miss my family already, but I know that this change is necessary to draw us all deeper into the body of Christ. I am ecstatic to see what my Father has in store and I am so blessed by all of you.
Please don't forget us.
I love you all.
Tuesday, August 10, 2010
Answers to the questions.
You know those days where it seems that nothing can go right? The days when it feels like the enemy has your soul in his hands and is squeezing the life out of you? That was me yesterday. I woke with a pounding head and the trials came pouring in as I entered the day. It was obvious, after a few hours in, that I should have started the day with prayer and quiet time with the Lord, instead of coffee. But, I didn't. And even at the point of realization, I still didn't make the time to seek out the Lord, and I paid for it.
Near the end of the day Nate sent me out to get some air. I refused at first, thinking it wouldn't make much difference, but then decided to go anyway.
With the windows down and music surrounding me, I hit the road. It was peaceful at first, until I remembered that my head was throbbing. And then the frustration filtered back in. So I flipped the music off and just drove silently for awhile and then started to pray. I cried out for the Lord to show me His perfect will for our lives, to direct us in the way He wanted, to guide us without hesitation. I ended up at the river, sitting alone with no distraction, with my bible on my lap. I opened to 1 Peter 4 because I knew that Peter was a great place to go for encouragement in times of trouble. As I was reading through the passage a breeze came through and started fluttering my pages around. I immediately grew impatient and tried to hold my onto my place in Peter. I started to lose my concentration and in frustration I closed the Word and set it aside. I was annoyed but as I sat on the rock watching the river freely flow downstream my mind found solace. When I was back in a place of peace I looked, again, at my bible. As I was looking at it I remembered a friend telling me about a time she allowed God to turn the pages for her. So I prayed the He would show me what I needed to be shown, without any effort on my part. Upon my asking, a gust of wind opened my bible to Revelation 2 and my eyes fell upon verses 1-7. It spoke of the loveless church.
“To the angel of the church of Ephesus write,
‘These things says He who holds the seven stars in His right hand, who walks in the midst of the seven golden lampstands: 2 “I know your works, your labor, your patience, and that you cannot bear those who are evil. And you have tested those who say they are apostles and are not, and have found them liars; 3 and you have persevered and have patience, and have labored for My name’s sake and have not become weary. 4 Nevertheless I have this against you, that you have left your first love. 5 Remember therefore from where you have fallen; repent and do the first works, or else I will come to you quickly and remove your lampstand from its place—unless you repent. 6 But this you have, that you hate the deeds of the Nicolaitans, which I also hate.
7 “He who has an ear, let him hear what the Spirit says to the churches. To him who overcomes I will give to eat from the tree of life, which is in the midst of the Paradise of God.”’
My heart started to pound. I knew the Lord was showing me where the problem was. Within the body, His body, there is a lack of love. I found this both interesting and heartbreaking because I knew in every ounce of my being that this was truth. His love has been missing from the body. I'm not saying that it is in any specific church body, or ministry, but as a whole we have left our first love. This explained so much. It explained to me why there are so many brothers and sisters in opposition with each other. It explained why there is a lack of unity in the believing body of Christ. It explained why people are turing their backs on Jesus after coming in contact with His body. It told me that we are doing it wrong and we need to repent and come back to HIM.
No sooner did my heart take this in the pages fluttered and turned to 1 John 2:15-17
and in that He told me HOW to change the past.
15 Do not love the world or the things in the world. If anyone loves the world, the love of the Father is not in him. 16 For all that is in the world—the lust of the flesh, the lust of the eyes, and the pride of life—is not of the Father but is of the world. 17 And the world is passing away, and the lust of it; but he who does the will of God abides forever.
Do NOT love the world or the things of the world, that is where the key lies.
And so again, pages flipped around and I waited, all the while not touching the bible but allowing His spirit to show me where to go. Back and forth they turned and then stopped, again, in 1 John. My eyes fell upon chapter 3 verses 7-11... And I took in the knowledge of how to live righteously for God, through love, love for each other and for Him who created us.
7 Little children, let no one deceive you. He who practices righteousness is righteous, just as He is righteous. 8 He who sins is of the devil, for the devil has sinned from the beginning. For this purpose the Son of God was manifested, that He might destroy the works of the devil. 9 Whoever has been born of God does not sin, for His seed remains in him; and he cannot sin, because he has been born of God. 10 In this the children of God and the children of the devil are manifest: Whoever does not practice righteousness is not of God, nor is he who does not love his brother. 11 For this is the message that you heard from the beginning, that we should love one another.
So then, now having the wisdom and knowledge of what needed to be changed in order to have a working and complete body in Christ I asked Him where to go next. I was still unsure that I had any power in my little ole self to do anything, to change anything. So He took me to a simple, yet dynamic verse, James 5:17...
17 Elijah was a man with a nature like ours, and he prayed earnestly that it would not rain; and it did not rain on the land for three years and six months.
PRAYER!
That was it, on-my-knees-eyes-on-the-cross-heart-praising-crying-out-in-humility sort of prayer. Elijah was a man with a nature like mine, like yours, and his faith filled prayers brought answers. Ours can too. And then he showed me 1 corinthians 10:1-15
1 Moreover, brethren, I do not want you to be unaware that all our fathers were under the cloud, all passed through the sea, 2 all were baptized into Moses in the cloud and in the sea, 3 all ate the same spiritual food, 4 and all drank the same spiritual drink. For they drank of that spiritual Rock that followed them, and that Rock was Christ. 5 But with most of them God was not well pleased, for their bodies were scattered in the wilderness. 6 Now these things became our examples, to the intent that we should not lust after evil things as they also lusted. 7 And do not become idolaters as were some of them. As it is written, “The people sat down to eat and drink, and rose up to play.” 8 Nor let us commit sexual immorality, as some of them did, and in one day twenty-three thousand fell; 9 nor let us tempt Christ, as some of them also tempted, and were destroyed by serpents; 10 nor complain, as some of them also complained, and were destroyed by the destroyer. 11 Now all these things happened to them as examples, and they were written for our admonition, upon whom the ends of the ages have come. 12 Therefore let him who thinks he stands take heed lest he fall. 13 No temptation has overtaken you except such as is common to man; but God is faithful, who will not allow you to be tempted beyond what you are able, but with the temptation will also make the way of escape, that you may be able to bear it. 14 Therefore, my beloved, flee from idolatry. 15 I speak as to wise men; judge for yourselves what I say.
In that I got much understanding. And, again, my heart broke for the things to come. He showed me that prayer would bring us through to the end, yet we will still see many fall into the pit of example. I asked for wisdom to see His heart for His people. And He filled my aching spirit with His comforting salve in 2 Corinthians 1:3-7
3 Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of mercies and God of all comfort, 4 who comforts us in all our tribulation, that we may be able to comfort those who are in any trouble, with the comfort with which we ourselves are comforted by God. 5 For as the sufferings of Christ abound in us, so our consolation also abounds through Christ. 6 Now if we are afflicted, it is for your consolation and salvation, which is effective for enduring the same sufferings which we also suffer. Or if we are comforted, it is for your consolation and salvation. 7 And our hope for you is steadfast, because we know that as you are partakers of the sufferings, so also you will partake of the consolation.
Wow, such reassurance He gives.
In times of trial, in trouble HE is there- always. And the way He circles our trials to become strengths so we can be of comfort to others, what a magnificent God we serve. That is perfection.
I could have been happy to stop there, but He wasn't finished with me yet. He turned my pages back a few to 1 corinthians 11:23-26
23 For I received from the Lord that which I also delivered to you: that the Lord Jesus on the same night in which He was betrayed took bread; 24 and when He had given thanks, He broke it and said, “Take, eat; this is My body which is broken for you; do this in remembrance of Me.” 25 In the same manner He also took the cup after supper, saying, “This cup is the new covenant in My blood. This do, as often as you drink it, in remembrance of Me.”
26 For as often as you eat this bread and drink this cup, you proclaim the Lord’s death till He comes.
As a reminder, always, to show us His almighty, never-ending, never failing love.
"This is My body which is broken for you" For you, and for me, He died. He was cursed, falsely accused and blamed, beaten and scorned, made to carry His cross to the hill where He would die. Death, for us. I have no words for that, except thank You.
So now what do I do? Where do I go from here Lord? These were questions I knew I would walk away from the river with. So, He, being the God who ties it all together for us when we ask, gave me yet another verse. Also in 1 Corinthians chapter 9:19-23
19 For though I am free from all men, I have made myself a servant to all, that I might win the more; 20 and to the Jews I became as a Jew, that I might win Jews; to those who are under the law, as under the law, that I might win those who are under the law; 21 to those who are without law, as without law (not being without law toward God, but under law toward Christ ), that I might win those who are without law; 22 to the weak I became as weak, that I might win the weak. I have become all things to all men, that I might by all means save some. 23 Now this I do for the gospel’s sake, that I may be partaker of it with you.
I am free, He has made me free in His spirit and in that it is my choice to be a servant. He is showing me that in order to show others the heart of Christ I need to become as they are, to the weak, weak, to the poor, poor. But in a way that shows sincerity, not falseness. If I am to become a missionary to others I need to learn how they live, I need to understand their differences, I need to get to know their hearts. I need to show my own weakness and humilty to them, as a servant would.
The last verse He poured into me was 1 Corinthians 7:17-24.. This summed up every other passage He had given me and sent me off with a fresh filling of His Spirit.
17 But as God has distributed to each one, as the Lord has called each one, so let him walk. And so I ordain in all the churches. 18 Was anyone called while circumcised? Let him not become uncircumcised. Was anyone called while uncircumcised? Let him not be circumcised. 19 Circumcision is nothing and uncircumcision is nothing, but keeping the commandments of God is what matters. 20 Let each one remain in the same calling in which he was called. 21 Were you called while a slave? Do not be concerned about it; but if you can be made free, rather use it. 22 For he who is called in the Lord while a slave is the Lord’s freedman. Likewise he who is called while free is Christ’s slave. 23 You were bought at a price; do not become slaves of men. 24 Brethren, let each one remain with God in that state in which he was called.
Live as you are called. I wish I could emphasize my language in a better way through writing because that is so filled with dominion that I can't even find enough words to describe it. I have been asked numerous times, "Why are you moving to Mexico?" "How do you know if this is God's will or man's will?" And, try as I might, I can only seem to come up with simple, meaningless answers. But when He gave me this verse I knew, in the deepest crevices of my being, that I am doing these things because I have been called to. No more than that, and no less. It is my calling, it is the calling of my family, therefore this is our next step.
God bless you for taking the time to read what has been put on my heart to share, and I hope and pray that the Lord has reached out and touched your spirit through what I have written.
Near the end of the day Nate sent me out to get some air. I refused at first, thinking it wouldn't make much difference, but then decided to go anyway.
With the windows down and music surrounding me, I hit the road. It was peaceful at first, until I remembered that my head was throbbing. And then the frustration filtered back in. So I flipped the music off and just drove silently for awhile and then started to pray. I cried out for the Lord to show me His perfect will for our lives, to direct us in the way He wanted, to guide us without hesitation. I ended up at the river, sitting alone with no distraction, with my bible on my lap. I opened to 1 Peter 4 because I knew that Peter was a great place to go for encouragement in times of trouble. As I was reading through the passage a breeze came through and started fluttering my pages around. I immediately grew impatient and tried to hold my onto my place in Peter. I started to lose my concentration and in frustration I closed the Word and set it aside. I was annoyed but as I sat on the rock watching the river freely flow downstream my mind found solace. When I was back in a place of peace I looked, again, at my bible. As I was looking at it I remembered a friend telling me about a time she allowed God to turn the pages for her. So I prayed the He would show me what I needed to be shown, without any effort on my part. Upon my asking, a gust of wind opened my bible to Revelation 2 and my eyes fell upon verses 1-7. It spoke of the loveless church.
“To the angel of the church of Ephesus write,
‘These things says He who holds the seven stars in His right hand, who walks in the midst of the seven golden lampstands: 2 “I know your works, your labor, your patience, and that you cannot bear those who are evil. And you have tested those who say they are apostles and are not, and have found them liars; 3 and you have persevered and have patience, and have labored for My name’s sake and have not become weary. 4 Nevertheless I have this against you, that you have left your first love. 5 Remember therefore from where you have fallen; repent and do the first works, or else I will come to you quickly and remove your lampstand from its place—unless you repent. 6 But this you have, that you hate the deeds of the Nicolaitans, which I also hate.
7 “He who has an ear, let him hear what the Spirit says to the churches. To him who overcomes I will give to eat from the tree of life, which is in the midst of the Paradise of God.”’
My heart started to pound. I knew the Lord was showing me where the problem was. Within the body, His body, there is a lack of love. I found this both interesting and heartbreaking because I knew in every ounce of my being that this was truth. His love has been missing from the body. I'm not saying that it is in any specific church body, or ministry, but as a whole we have left our first love. This explained so much. It explained to me why there are so many brothers and sisters in opposition with each other. It explained why there is a lack of unity in the believing body of Christ. It explained why people are turing their backs on Jesus after coming in contact with His body. It told me that we are doing it wrong and we need to repent and come back to HIM.
No sooner did my heart take this in the pages fluttered and turned to 1 John 2:15-17
and in that He told me HOW to change the past.
15 Do not love the world or the things in the world. If anyone loves the world, the love of the Father is not in him. 16 For all that is in the world—the lust of the flesh, the lust of the eyes, and the pride of life—is not of the Father but is of the world. 17 And the world is passing away, and the lust of it; but he who does the will of God abides forever.
Do NOT love the world or the things of the world, that is where the key lies.
And so again, pages flipped around and I waited, all the while not touching the bible but allowing His spirit to show me where to go. Back and forth they turned and then stopped, again, in 1 John. My eyes fell upon chapter 3 verses 7-11... And I took in the knowledge of how to live righteously for God, through love, love for each other and for Him who created us.
7 Little children, let no one deceive you. He who practices righteousness is righteous, just as He is righteous. 8 He who sins is of the devil, for the devil has sinned from the beginning. For this purpose the Son of God was manifested, that He might destroy the works of the devil. 9 Whoever has been born of God does not sin, for His seed remains in him; and he cannot sin, because he has been born of God. 10 In this the children of God and the children of the devil are manifest: Whoever does not practice righteousness is not of God, nor is he who does not love his brother. 11 For this is the message that you heard from the beginning, that we should love one another.
So then, now having the wisdom and knowledge of what needed to be changed in order to have a working and complete body in Christ I asked Him where to go next. I was still unsure that I had any power in my little ole self to do anything, to change anything. So He took me to a simple, yet dynamic verse, James 5:17...
17 Elijah was a man with a nature like ours, and he prayed earnestly that it would not rain; and it did not rain on the land for three years and six months.
PRAYER!
That was it, on-my-knees-eyes-on-the-cross-heart-praising-crying-out-in-humility sort of prayer. Elijah was a man with a nature like mine, like yours, and his faith filled prayers brought answers. Ours can too. And then he showed me 1 corinthians 10:1-15
1 Moreover, brethren, I do not want you to be unaware that all our fathers were under the cloud, all passed through the sea, 2 all were baptized into Moses in the cloud and in the sea, 3 all ate the same spiritual food, 4 and all drank the same spiritual drink. For they drank of that spiritual Rock that followed them, and that Rock was Christ. 5 But with most of them God was not well pleased, for their bodies were scattered in the wilderness. 6 Now these things became our examples, to the intent that we should not lust after evil things as they also lusted. 7 And do not become idolaters as were some of them. As it is written, “The people sat down to eat and drink, and rose up to play.” 8 Nor let us commit sexual immorality, as some of them did, and in one day twenty-three thousand fell; 9 nor let us tempt Christ, as some of them also tempted, and were destroyed by serpents; 10 nor complain, as some of them also complained, and were destroyed by the destroyer. 11 Now all these things happened to them as examples, and they were written for our admonition, upon whom the ends of the ages have come. 12 Therefore let him who thinks he stands take heed lest he fall. 13 No temptation has overtaken you except such as is common to man; but God is faithful, who will not allow you to be tempted beyond what you are able, but with the temptation will also make the way of escape, that you may be able to bear it. 14 Therefore, my beloved, flee from idolatry. 15 I speak as to wise men; judge for yourselves what I say.
In that I got much understanding. And, again, my heart broke for the things to come. He showed me that prayer would bring us through to the end, yet we will still see many fall into the pit of example. I asked for wisdom to see His heart for His people. And He filled my aching spirit with His comforting salve in 2 Corinthians 1:3-7
3 Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of mercies and God of all comfort, 4 who comforts us in all our tribulation, that we may be able to comfort those who are in any trouble, with the comfort with which we ourselves are comforted by God. 5 For as the sufferings of Christ abound in us, so our consolation also abounds through Christ. 6 Now if we are afflicted, it is for your consolation and salvation, which is effective for enduring the same sufferings which we also suffer. Or if we are comforted, it is for your consolation and salvation. 7 And our hope for you is steadfast, because we know that as you are partakers of the sufferings, so also you will partake of the consolation.
Wow, such reassurance He gives.
In times of trial, in trouble HE is there- always. And the way He circles our trials to become strengths so we can be of comfort to others, what a magnificent God we serve. That is perfection.
I could have been happy to stop there, but He wasn't finished with me yet. He turned my pages back a few to 1 corinthians 11:23-26
23 For I received from the Lord that which I also delivered to you: that the Lord Jesus on the same night in which He was betrayed took bread; 24 and when He had given thanks, He broke it and said, “Take, eat; this is My body which is broken for you; do this in remembrance of Me.” 25 In the same manner He also took the cup after supper, saying, “This cup is the new covenant in My blood. This do, as often as you drink it, in remembrance of Me.”
26 For as often as you eat this bread and drink this cup, you proclaim the Lord’s death till He comes.
As a reminder, always, to show us His almighty, never-ending, never failing love.
"This is My body which is broken for you" For you, and for me, He died. He was cursed, falsely accused and blamed, beaten and scorned, made to carry His cross to the hill where He would die. Death, for us. I have no words for that, except thank You.
So now what do I do? Where do I go from here Lord? These were questions I knew I would walk away from the river with. So, He, being the God who ties it all together for us when we ask, gave me yet another verse. Also in 1 Corinthians chapter 9:19-23
19 For though I am free from all men, I have made myself a servant to all, that I might win the more; 20 and to the Jews I became as a Jew, that I might win Jews; to those who are under the law, as under the law, that I might win those who are under the law; 21 to those who are without law, as without law (not being without law toward God, but under law toward Christ ), that I might win those who are without law; 22 to the weak I became as weak, that I might win the weak. I have become all things to all men, that I might by all means save some. 23 Now this I do for the gospel’s sake, that I may be partaker of it with you.
I am free, He has made me free in His spirit and in that it is my choice to be a servant. He is showing me that in order to show others the heart of Christ I need to become as they are, to the weak, weak, to the poor, poor. But in a way that shows sincerity, not falseness. If I am to become a missionary to others I need to learn how they live, I need to understand their differences, I need to get to know their hearts. I need to show my own weakness and humilty to them, as a servant would.
The last verse He poured into me was 1 Corinthians 7:17-24.. This summed up every other passage He had given me and sent me off with a fresh filling of His Spirit.
17 But as God has distributed to each one, as the Lord has called each one, so let him walk. And so I ordain in all the churches. 18 Was anyone called while circumcised? Let him not become uncircumcised. Was anyone called while uncircumcised? Let him not be circumcised. 19 Circumcision is nothing and uncircumcision is nothing, but keeping the commandments of God is what matters. 20 Let each one remain in the same calling in which he was called. 21 Were you called while a slave? Do not be concerned about it; but if you can be made free, rather use it. 22 For he who is called in the Lord while a slave is the Lord’s freedman. Likewise he who is called while free is Christ’s slave. 23 You were bought at a price; do not become slaves of men. 24 Brethren, let each one remain with God in that state in which he was called.
Live as you are called. I wish I could emphasize my language in a better way through writing because that is so filled with dominion that I can't even find enough words to describe it. I have been asked numerous times, "Why are you moving to Mexico?" "How do you know if this is God's will or man's will?" And, try as I might, I can only seem to come up with simple, meaningless answers. But when He gave me this verse I knew, in the deepest crevices of my being, that I am doing these things because I have been called to. No more than that, and no less. It is my calling, it is the calling of my family, therefore this is our next step.
God bless you for taking the time to read what has been put on my heart to share, and I hope and pray that the Lord has reached out and touched your spirit through what I have written.
Monday, June 28, 2010
Dandelion seeds
This past year has brought about many changes in our family; from inconsistency in our finances to a growing desire to jump head first into ministry. Last Christmas we decided to spend two weeks at Rancho Tres Cruces;
partly because it was a year that neither of our families had anything big going on, partly because we wanted to see what it would be like to be away from the the hustle and bustle that the holidays bring, but mostly because we felt like the Lord wanted us to go.
We had a wonderful trip and bonded immensely as a family. In fact, Nate and I came back with the same sense of change in our hearts although neither of us shared with the other those feelings until we returned home.
When we discovered that we were on the same page we both realized that it wasn't just emotionally driven but rather that the Lord had been speaking directly to our hearts. That mysterious discovery brought with it many questions. Questions that were left unanswered for some time. It became discouraging and almost frustrating because we both knew that we were to prepare for something, yet we didn't know what we were supposed to be preparing for. We thought maybe we were supposed to have another child (even though we had already decided that our quiver was full enough), so we reopened the door for God to work in, and possibly rearrange our lives. We prayed and prayed and opened more doors to different types of change, hoping that we would soon receive an answer.
But still, nothing.
One night I was praying and asking God, again, what this change was that we were being prepared for. Then He gave me a verse, Philippians 4:6 "Be anxious for nothing, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God." I was instantly filled with peace and at that moment I knew why we were still in the waiting period. We were learning how to be patient and wait on Him and His perfect timing.
For those of you who don't know our story I will take you back a few years.
Nate had just come back from the mission field when we met; I knew that he was created for missions and I was excited to join him in that calling. Our first couple years of marriage were written like a beautiful novel. We lived 1 Corinthians 13 like it had been scripted for us. Our family bloomed and we talked of living in Mexico and raising our children as missionaries. But into the third year things changed. We got busy, grew apart and our lives were equally focused on our own selves. Life was just being lived at that point and the talk of ministry faded.
By year four we had a vast awakening. God put His sovereign foot right down into our selfish desires and told us to make a decision, a decision to follow hard after Him or go live in darkness alone. We obviously chose door number one. Nate was working for Edge Wireless as an area manager. We had no worries financially and were in a position to live as comfortably as we cared to. When the business sold out to AT&T our lives changed drastically. So Nate went to work for a small start-up business that developed aircraft. It was a dream for him to be part of a start-up business that had the potential to become colossal.
Sadly, after a year and a half of emotionally draining stress and multiple setbacks, the business buckled. Prayerfully, Nate sought after many jobs. Months passed quickly and we grew anxious, especially since the unemployment benefits were as minimal as they could possibly be. Our savings were dwindling and it was completely out of our hands. We were grim but also knew that the Lord was doing something in our lives. It was a difficult time but through it we learned how to simplify. Then three months ago, Nate was hired on as a salesman at Verizon wireless. But things didn't really go "back to normal" as we knew normal to be. Nate was feeling somewhat restless, and he certainly wasn't being worked up to his potential. It felt temporary, although we were deeply thankful. Yet we were still unsure of what would come next, or when.
A few weeks ago John Rideout had a meeting with Nate in which he asked him if he was ready to assume the responsibilities as missions overseer. We were very excited, especially since we had been spending a lot of time in Mexico and had future plans to spend even more time. Nate spent the first week as missions overseer at Rancho Tres Cruces with Pastor Travis Hunt and Pastor Phil working out kinks in the vision of the up-coming Master's bible school. It was emotional and heavy but they felt the Lords hand upon every decision, and God moved though the ranch and brought about a new season. It is a season of unknowns, of mystery.
A season of change; physically, as we pack up and move with just a few essentials, emotionally as we travel a thousand miles from our family and friends, spiritually, as we know we are heading into the unseen battlefield.
It is extraordinary and exhilarating, yet strange and overwhelming. I feel like we are dandelion seeds floating in the breeze, knowing only the wind of His Spirit. But also knowing that He will carry us to the exact spot we need to be.
Proverbs 16:9
A man's heart devises his way: but the LORD directs his steps.
partly because it was a year that neither of our families had anything big going on, partly because we wanted to see what it would be like to be away from the the hustle and bustle that the holidays bring, but mostly because we felt like the Lord wanted us to go.
We had a wonderful trip and bonded immensely as a family. In fact, Nate and I came back with the same sense of change in our hearts although neither of us shared with the other those feelings until we returned home.
When we discovered that we were on the same page we both realized that it wasn't just emotionally driven but rather that the Lord had been speaking directly to our hearts. That mysterious discovery brought with it many questions. Questions that were left unanswered for some time. It became discouraging and almost frustrating because we both knew that we were to prepare for something, yet we didn't know what we were supposed to be preparing for. We thought maybe we were supposed to have another child (even though we had already decided that our quiver was full enough), so we reopened the door for God to work in, and possibly rearrange our lives. We prayed and prayed and opened more doors to different types of change, hoping that we would soon receive an answer.
But still, nothing.
One night I was praying and asking God, again, what this change was that we were being prepared for. Then He gave me a verse, Philippians 4:6 "Be anxious for nothing, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God." I was instantly filled with peace and at that moment I knew why we were still in the waiting period. We were learning how to be patient and wait on Him and His perfect timing.
For those of you who don't know our story I will take you back a few years.
Nate had just come back from the mission field when we met; I knew that he was created for missions and I was excited to join him in that calling. Our first couple years of marriage were written like a beautiful novel. We lived 1 Corinthians 13 like it had been scripted for us. Our family bloomed and we talked of living in Mexico and raising our children as missionaries. But into the third year things changed. We got busy, grew apart and our lives were equally focused on our own selves. Life was just being lived at that point and the talk of ministry faded.
By year four we had a vast awakening. God put His sovereign foot right down into our selfish desires and told us to make a decision, a decision to follow hard after Him or go live in darkness alone. We obviously chose door number one. Nate was working for Edge Wireless as an area manager. We had no worries financially and were in a position to live as comfortably as we cared to. When the business sold out to AT&T our lives changed drastically. So Nate went to work for a small start-up business that developed aircraft. It was a dream for him to be part of a start-up business that had the potential to become colossal.
Sadly, after a year and a half of emotionally draining stress and multiple setbacks, the business buckled. Prayerfully, Nate sought after many jobs. Months passed quickly and we grew anxious, especially since the unemployment benefits were as minimal as they could possibly be. Our savings were dwindling and it was completely out of our hands. We were grim but also knew that the Lord was doing something in our lives. It was a difficult time but through it we learned how to simplify. Then three months ago, Nate was hired on as a salesman at Verizon wireless. But things didn't really go "back to normal" as we knew normal to be. Nate was feeling somewhat restless, and he certainly wasn't being worked up to his potential. It felt temporary, although we were deeply thankful. Yet we were still unsure of what would come next, or when.
A few weeks ago John Rideout had a meeting with Nate in which he asked him if he was ready to assume the responsibilities as missions overseer. We were very excited, especially since we had been spending a lot of time in Mexico and had future plans to spend even more time. Nate spent the first week as missions overseer at Rancho Tres Cruces with Pastor Travis Hunt and Pastor Phil working out kinks in the vision of the up-coming Master's bible school. It was emotional and heavy but they felt the Lords hand upon every decision, and God moved though the ranch and brought about a new season. It is a season of unknowns, of mystery.
A season of change; physically, as we pack up and move with just a few essentials, emotionally as we travel a thousand miles from our family and friends, spiritually, as we know we are heading into the unseen battlefield.
It is extraordinary and exhilarating, yet strange and overwhelming. I feel like we are dandelion seeds floating in the breeze, knowing only the wind of His Spirit. But also knowing that He will carry us to the exact spot we need to be.
Proverbs 16:9
A man's heart devises his way: but the LORD directs his steps.
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